Viper Squad Ten

[ Tuesday, July 27, 2004 ]

Morning Glory
Starbuck [20:47] Comments: 0 []
Continuing my incessant post-holiday pre-holiday-report ramblings, can I just scream NOOOOOO! to the "answer-back" record by an unknown singer in reply to The Streets' rather wonderful "Dry Your Eyes" that I heard it on the Scott Mills radio show this morning. It's cynicism and its absolute lack of imagination had me tearing my hair-remnants out in anger. Thank frack I didn't catch the title - perhaps if I never hear it again it'll stay as a diffuse discorporeal memory rather than a coalescing into a nasty mental scab.

Now I greatly disliked Eamon's "Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)", and I even more greatly despised Frankee's "answer-back" record "FURB (Fuck You Right Back)", but at least Frankee's a real person, whether or nor she and Eamon have ever been an item (though, much more likely of course, was that it was all just a cynical marketing scam designed to bleed idiots of their pocket money. Frankly I don't care, or at least I wouldn't care, had I not have to have listened to their crap on the radio all day over the last few months).

But for God's sake, The Streets' song is written about a fictional person, Simone, who is part of the concept album's story. So wtf's the point in someone writing an answer back record? YOU CAN'T EVEN PRETEND THAT ITS REAL! My God...

And whilst I'm charting the artistic decline OF western civilization (sort of), waking up in front of the telly early Sunday morning I channel-surfed onto Shake!, Channel Five's envelope of cartoons and animations for the very young.

As my eyes became adjusted to the electron beam, I noticed the image on the squeeky-clean continuity-presenter's T-shirt. I couldn't believe my oh-so-innocent eyes! The words "MORNING WOOD" were emblazened across his front, with the upper hemisphere of a sun peeping over the top of a small collection of trees in a most (read as: fairly) phallic manner. A quick scan on Google to look for an image confirmed that this wasn't my sick imagination - the number one result - "Ask The Experts: What is morning wood?" - confirmed my suspicions.

I've not seen such subtle kids TV subversion since I endured the horrific sight of Tommy Boyd spending several hours on his Saturday Starship with his flies "accidentally" gaping undone! Still, at least it took your attention away from his face.

Enough! Move on...

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