Watching Damon Allbran & Jamie Hewlett out of Gorillaz on Jonathan Ross tonight made me feel old and strangely cheated.
Not that the Gorillaz are anything but utterly brilliant - Demon Days is a stunning album.
But I was a big fan of Jamie Hewlett & Alan Martin's Tank Girl comic strips as a kiddie, and they pretty much shaped my attitude as a student, pre the shite Deadline-sinking movie. Students are idiots.
And so I felt that I had formed an un-"fingerable" affinity with Jamie. In the same way as one feels a bond with those "celebrities" (favourite formative comedians, musicians, Digitiser journalists, Noel Edmonds) who have shaped your personality, I felt that Hewlett was a part of me. Sort of.
But he just wasn't the person I thought he was. No offence meant to Me Hewlett - I know I'm beginning to sound like Jed the obsessive fan from I'm Alan Partridge - and I'm sure I'd like him a lot more as he appears to be as opposed to the creation of my adolescent mind.
I'm just pointing out the wrongness in the thinking that these people belong to us "fanatics". Sometimes it's painfully obvious how little further we've progressed up the evolutionary tree from the other primates. We're all self-serving, tribe-protecting creatures of instinct.
Hmmm. I think I'd better go for a lie down. Too much Spunk beer perhaps.
I know... in the sober light of day I had to return shame-faced to this.
Firstly, if my Tank Girl-era self was to look forward in time to my 2005 self I would probably look at myself with a tinge of regret... the long, wild multicoloured hair now thinning and natural, my youthful gauntness replaced by fullsome cheeks, my devil-may-care attitude somewhat tempered by the actuality of now being thirtysomething... "middle-aged" even... and with no tangible career behind or ahead of me, and ever-dimming prospects.
And all the time, Jamie Hewlett forging forwards, whilst I sit here in the past deifying something which was knocked up pissed in a scant amount of time.
Typically I then lost my drunken self into the Gorillaz website for several hours last night.
Secondly, I must point out that I've never shagged a kangaroo.