Viper Squad Ten

[ Tuesday, June 06, 2006 ]

Ants and Deck
Starbuck [13:32] Comments: 0 []
I feel like The Singing Detective. Sort of.

Over the weekend we broke a habit of a lifetime and did some medium-scale DIY. We've got a nice bit of decking out the back of the house complete with a perspex overhang ("it's just like an all-weather outside living-room; except when its cold!"), and we thought we'd do well to seal the wood to prevent cracking and splitting.

We purchased a can of Decking Protector from Homebase, and I set to work on the overhanging timbers.

I don't think I was as accurate as I might have been.

Three days later, and I'm still peeling it off my arms. Patches of it keep on appearing. It's like dried egg, or glue perhaps, or worse still, an accretion of male gamete solution. I dread to imagine what my colleagues are thinking as I sit in meetings peeling off this second skin...

That is, if it is a second skin. I'd not thought about this before now, but maybe this is why they warn you to wear protective gloves. My epidermis is separating away - I'm shedding just like the lizard I really am.

Still, with it's clear, penetrating formulation I can guarantee triple action protection of my arms in the future, with waxes helping prevent damage from moisture. Likewise a preservative will give long lasting protection against head rot and decay, and an algicide should prevent algae and mould growth on my "weekend clothing" (I only have one set!)


Footnote: To justify the headline "Ants and Deck", may I just tell you that this season I'm getting as obsessed about ant annihilation as I always do come summertime.

And to double-justify it, may I inform you that I find those 4WD vehicles with an inbuilt illfitting "thoracic" back section incredibly annoying. Always have done. However I've now realised why. These gas-guzzlers look just like giant ants. Kill! KILL!

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