Starbuck [12:06]
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My mind's ear is being thoroughly syringed out with eighties music today, mostly Tears For Fears. Yikes!
About a year ago I saw Donnie Darko at the cinema, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The months passed, and although the shape of its magnificent whole remained solid and clear, the minutiae of the film faded.
Over time, my internal jukebox would sometimes plague me with some tantalising snippets of music, music I recognised but could not place. One song I couldn’t shake off, I could particularly imagine being played out over the last few scenes of an elusive film or TV show, a song which seemed to mean everything to me, though I didn't know why. "Its a mad world..."
And having now watched Donnie Darko again, it all fits into place. This soundtrack that's been eluding me, tumbling frustratingly across my subconcious for months, but now tied in to the correct mental recess. It’s strange, but a tiny part of my mind, previously turbulent, now feel a sense of calm, of order, of placement.
I loved this film. And for some reason it makes me weep buckets. Therapeutic Fight Club type tears. (“tears for fears”?). I don't know what it is about DD that I empathise with so much. I mean, I'm not a (possibly-schizophrenic) teenager. I've never seen a figure in a bunny costume called Frank who's warned me about the end of the world. Yeah, I've felt troubled in my earlier years, but then, who hasn't. It's also true that I have done much time-travelling, of course - there is that. Though that's not the basis of the film, even if it is the crux of it.
Maybe it's just that I myself can now understand so clearly how my world, how the whole world, works. This is something of which I am sure. And I know what's important, and what I would do to protect that. Donnie doesn't understand until the end. And its beautiful to see.
Whatever, I'm still not totally sure what the film’s actually all about. Though it looks like working a way through the suitably freaky website should help... A quick delve in to it, and I'm already making connections...