Starbuck [12:53]
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Not that I'm a wimp or anything (perish the thought), but I've been denied entry to the bathroom by a wasp crawling around on my dressing gown. It's a sleepy one, and they're the ones to watch out for. Stealth wasps. I've been most pathetic for the last half hour, throwing books and magazines in through the door in an attempt to prompt it into flight, but to no avail. The trouble is, I'm desperate for the bog. I've tried lifting the dressing gown out of the room on the end of the punishment stick (4 foot pole), but every time I try the little blighter wiggles towards me threateningly. How can something so small exude such menace? Maybe its gone now. Go on, Starbuck, be brave. (As Googlism so aptly describes me, "starbuck is no one's idea of a extraordinary warrior")