Viper Squad Ten

[ Tuesday, February 20, 2007 ]

Five things you didn't want to know about me
Starbuck [23:02] Comments: 0 []
A while back I was tagged by Astolath to "reveal five things about myself". A difficult task for someone who's never dared revealed that her reveal name is Petra Pinyin, and that she's actually a timetraveller from the distant past, but there you go. And my apologies to those out there who've tagged memes onto my bloggy carcass over the past few years only to be met by silence; rest assured that I've recorded all those that I've spotted, and they're just awaiting fulfilment. Just as soon as I get my old PC up and running again..

Anyway, here's my five things:

  1. I coast.

    A regular refrain on my school reports was "Beware of coasting". This used to bring me great shame - a run of slightly above-average grades or remarks brought sharply down to earth by the accusation that I was too complacent, too lazy, to maintain my academic momentum. Self-fulfilling.

    I've been coasting all my life ever since. I've coasted more than the Beach Boys. And it still brings me shame.

  2. Supermarket shopping paralyses me

    Too much information to take into account. Too much data to process. Weight versus price versus calories versus fat (esp. saturated or hydrogenated) versus salt versus air miles versus country of origin's political situation. Sometimes I just end up standing there unable to form any sort of decision.

  3. I'm currently a fitly unfit fatty

    At school, a long time ago, I was a champion sprinter. Several years ago I was a long distance stamina man, once managing nearly miles without a proper training regime or diet, with a fucked-up foot from four miles. Periods in between have been spent overweight and chronically under-exercised. But however long it gets since my last run, I know I can still force an exertion if required. I'm flippin' marvellous, me!

  4. I like rooms with wombs

    As a student I sometimes felt the need to return to the womb. I used to find cosy little spaces to curl up within, spaces under tables or within wardrobes to hide inside. Its not something I do now - I'm quite capable of closing my brain tightly around my mind when the need arrives.

    In more recent years I've become more and more dependent on various sonic sleep aids. It all started when the need arose to blank out unexpected sudden noises from a set of nuisance neighbours, and it soon became a necessary comfort, whether its the sound of an electric fan (whatever the weather), or more recently, an electric dehumidifier; the latter creates that necessary wash of womb-interior sounds whilst actually doing something constructive (the breath from my metabionic body creates a hell of lot of condensation at night).

  5. I long for plane crashes

    Ever since I was an adolescent, whenever travelling on a plane or train I've normally hoped that it will crash.

    I've actually seen various interviews with people suffering from depression who've said such things, and they often say something along the lines of "I thought it was normal, I thought that everyone felt the same".

    However it does feel normal, and I wouldn't be surprised if everyone felt the same. And for the record, I'm not depressed as far as I know.

    But dying in a plane crash would be a neat way to go (not "neat" in an American sense, more of a tidy sense), and it'd be an experience. A brief experience for sure, but an experience. Its just a shame you'd not be able to tell anyone about it...

    I'm put in mind of the lyrics of a joyful litle ditty by early 90s band CNN (aka XC-NN) called Looking Forward. Ongoing Real Life concerns mean that it'd be insensitive of me to reproduce it here, but I'm sure you could unearth this pop rock classic if you really tried, and you never know, it might even give you some strength. Life's something to be embraced to the full, and death's not something to be afraid of.

So there you go. Five things about me. Not exactly the best five things about me, but there you go. As you can see, as well as being a brilliant man full of untapped physical and intellectual potential, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me. Only joking! Please don't.

And with that, dear Reader, I tag thee, . Reveal thyself!

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