Viper Squad Ten

[ Monday, April 23, 2007 ]

Toilet Tips for Men
Starbuck [22:57] Comments: 4 []
 
Gentlemen! I've made a discovery that will change your life...

You will no doubt have at some point suffered "wet leg" syndrome, when a leakage of urine escapes from your john thomas following its return to your underwear during a trip to the urinals.

Don't be embarrassed, it happens to all of us at some point. No matter how hard you squeeze your urethral smooth muscle, no matter how vigorously you shake your todger post-toilet, sometimes the safety of your tackle's kit-bag releases a smidgeon of unexpected wee.

The solution:

Bend your knees whilst remaining in a bolt upright position before returning your old chap to your trousers.

Granted, it'll make you look like a 1950s British policeman, and a little bit peculiar with it, but that's a small price to pay for dryness.

Talk about Dickson of Dock Green. Evenin' all!


4 Comment(s):


Comment by Anonymous Shagmatty, at April 30, 2007 12:12 pm  :

That's a shocker! I'll mention it to a friend of mine that once made a comment on the subject. Maybe it will help him...

On another note the Red Hot Chillies came to Melbourne and were without doubt one of the laziest superstar bands that I've seen. Leaving it to the first song to complete their sound checks. They weren't nearly loud enough, and that wonderful bass guitar got lost in the ether. The encores (other than "Give it Away") were just experimental twonk and left the crowd thinking is that it, where to I get a refund? Bit like an amature college band having a good Jam session together. Bring back the Dieticians!

SM



Comment by Blogger Starbuck, at April 30, 2007 6:20 pm  :

Bring back the Dieticians indeed!

"I am fat! Fat-fat-fat-fat-fat!
We like fat! Fat-fat-fat-fat-fat!
We suck fat! Fat-fat-fat-fat-fat!
FAAAAAAAAAT!


We rawked, maaan.

I used to play some Red Hot Chilli stuff with Commander Aardvark, btw. I'd like to think my bass playing was right up there with Flea's. But I am a very unrealistic kind of person.

They have got kind-of all, though. Unlike we, who are by definition timeless.



Comment by Blogger Ron Lyre, at May 02, 2007 5:08 pm  :

I find wee-ing in shorts a major problem (not actually weeing in shorts but you know what I mean). I pop out the left leg , wee, and am then horrified to discover a very wet right leg. Can't for the life of me figure out what's going wrong? Is there an unwritten law of physics or something that I don't know about? Can you help?



Comment by Anonymous shagmatty, at May 04, 2007 2:37 pm  :

Hummmm, you wouldn't be German man featured in this article? This would not only account for your wet right leg, but also the loss of your wife.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1315211.html

Dunno. Maybe Dr Starbuck can help, he's quite the dab hand in matters of the trouser...


Post your own Comment



[ Click HERE for the VSX front-page... ]







[ Previous Posts ]

Frank Carson - It's A Cracker
Enter Shikari verses The Klaxons
Paedogeddon
Life On Mars final episode [NO SPOILERS]
Alright Sunshine
The Meaning of Life
Doctor Who new series - Vote Saxon
Dreaming in digital*
Castaway 2007
The Root of All Emptiness?

[ Full Archives ]



[ Photowankery ]

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from Starbuck Powersurge. Make your own badge here.