Some things you don't want to hear
I'm just out of the shower.
It's a bit of a shock moving into a hard water area. Its bad enough doing the washing up, your fingers shrivelling to prunes within seconds.
But in the shower today... brrrr... my bits decided to make the awkward journey back up the inguinal canal to their home from the prepubuscent era... yikes!
Another thing which you don't want to hear. A group of us went to a bar in Leamington last night - Cuba. Not a bad place - I felt less old and decrepit there than in a lot of Leamington bars, anyway. Anyway, I'm used to seeing condom machines in the toilets - fair enough. But this place had a vibrator machine in the blokes toilets. Which is maybe fair enough, I suppose, sort of. The things must've been so cheap and nasty though, 'cos they sold them in packs of 5 for £1! The mind boggles...