# In no man's TV-Land #
Four reasons why Five's The Farm doesn't work well as a "reality" TV show:
1 - The theme music - rrrrubish!
2 - The "celebrities" - very low-grade. It says alot that their line of "work" has to be so explicitly highlighted upon their first mention in a show ("Very occasional TV presenter Jeff Brazier" - who?) 3 - Ed Hall is doing the voiceover.
4 - The sight of Footballer Stan Collymore masturbating a pig. TRAUMA! TURMOIL! (Make your own piss-poor "dog" and "colly" jokes please) 5 - Rob Van Winkle aka Vanilla Ice. An unwatchably arrogant, lazy, childish, and uneducated jock (not the Scotts variety). My proxy-pet dog has a broader world view than this uninformed piece of Fox-news effluent. A scumsucker, despite his Jimmy Hill-style chin - never has a sharper chin cradled a rapper's face!
One reason why there's hope for it:
The Iceman is really pissing the rest of the "farmhands" off...