Okay okay, so I promised on April 13 that I wasn't going to write anything more about this year's General Election.
And you lot in vapourspace are probably damned lucky that I'm much too busy with this old forthcoming wedding thang (next week! crikey!) that I'm not constantly prodding the back of your throats with my views.
However I must just put out these brief appeals on behalf of common sense (or so I - the arbiter of everything that is true and good - believe):
To the farmers of Great Britain - please take down those infernal blue hoardings advising us to vote Conservative that you are littering the countryside with. You are eliciting little sympathy for your "plight". (And as for "Farmers For Action"'s attempted re-ignition of the fuel protests - just farm off and die, you bullying (geddit?!) scumsuckers. Ahem.)
And to anyone who considers immigration to be a key issue in who they will vote for - you are either brainwashed, gullible, ignorant, misguided, racist or stupid - wise up. Or to be less harsh to any of my chums, should their abiding rules of inference - whether modus ponens or modus tollens blah blah blah - have led them to such conclusions: you are of a different opinion to me. Wise down. (Note: I no longer know what I'm going on about here).