Viper Squad Ten

[ Monday, February 07, 2005 ]

Clutterbuck Computer Clutter Challenge Rounds 6 and 7
Starbuck [21:40] Comments: 0 []
 
Its the online series that just won't die - the nonstop excitement of the Clutterbuck Computer Clutter Challenge! Arriving in my inbox nearly a week ago, these two submissions to the Only Online Untidy Computerstation Competition That Matters can only now be released to the world following a series of intense and thorough tests of their veracity. They're going to have to be good to compete with the previous double-header, however...


Firstly tonight we have the lovely Susan of Third Daughter fame. It must be said that first impressions were that I've seen much more cluttered desktops. Closer inspection reveals a higher level of messaphilia, however. There's a promising stack of CDs and DVDs in its early stages perched atop her base unit, next to which appears to be a jar of tea bags. Although there are several "trophies" afixed to the monitor, these don't earn any clutter-points, being purposefully placed. But look, another stack of CDs has escaped from the CD rack over on the right; unfortunately, they're still fairly neatly arranged. A haphazard collection of mysterious items including what looks like baby lotion and some massive sweets add an element of clutteredness.

Susan's masterstroke is her desk's highly-polished wooden surface - every item on the desk reflected to double the apparent clutter-factor. Well done, Madam.



You couldn't really get much more cluttered than my second entry of the evening from Mr Ron Lyre (97), although Mr Lyre, not sharing the same point of vision as the rest of us, would disagree. I think that the wisest thing for me to do with Ron's entry would be to publish his accompanying email, and a follow-up email from his good friend, fellow competition entrant Lawn Greengrass.
Dear Mister Starbuck.

Because life has not been very good to me over the past year or so my good and handsome friend Mr Lawn Greengrass suggested I enter your clutterbuck competition for the first prize of a weekend in New York. He said it would cheer me up and how right he was. Although my desk is not cluttered in the usual sense of the word it does smell a bit.

Although my mother died yesterday of a oriental disease and I'm feeling very sad I would not want you to be swayed in any way in your decison. Bless you my son.

PS. If I should be lucky enough to win would it be alright if Greengrass accompaniesme to New York as I am incontinent and liable to go off on one?

I remain your friend even if I lose.

Ron Lyre (97).
Dear Starbuck,

I understand my friend Ron Lyre (97) has entered your competition. Please do not be alarmed. He is as mad as a box of frogs. Although it might be wise (and don't let me put any pressure on you here ) to award him the first prize of two weeks in Antartica, I shall of course try my best to dissuade him of any hopes he might have, however, if perchance he does win, I shall of course accompany him in an effort to stop him fightening the ladies or scaring the horses.

Amen.

Lawn Greengrass
OK, you win. No, wait... Curses! They've discovered my Achilles heel. I take it back, you swines. The Clutterbuck Cup is still open...

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