Viper Squad Ten
We're from the future. And we're stuck....
......VSX......                                                                                                              ......Been a little bit quiet lately......                                                                                                                                                                    

VSX, A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist: Starbuck Powersurge - a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of Viper Squad Ten, a long-disbanded group of stranded timetravelling troubadours, formed to help finance repairs to their time-machine. Now very much stuck in C21...

Sometimes guest editors: Mr Stu and DJ Tim.

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Dexter Season 4 finale review
Now that's magic!
I did this!
Frank Sidebottom RIP
Lost - The End - an atheist's viewpoint
Viper Squad Ten - the return
[breath drawn]
[rib cage expands outwards]
[intercostal muscles contract]

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All text is copyright the Viper Squad Ten blog team 2003-2006 unless otherwise quoted or credited. If we've not credited you properly, please let me know. Throw us a link if you're desperate enough to use this guff...

[ VSX Latest ]

[ Thursday, March 30, 2006 ]

The Powersurge Portal
Starbuck [20:51] Comments: 7 []

Starbuck's got a brand new website. And its rrrrrubbish!

To be honest, its currently pretty much just a holding-pen for those out-of-date links that have been littering VSX's right-hand column for yonks. However watch this space. Or that space. You never know, it might get interesting. Might. Might not.

However I've finally found a home for those pencil drawings I did all those many years ago whilst I was going through my angst-ridden kidult phase; as an utter non-artist I may not be able to draw instinctively, but I'm still just a little bit proud of some of these sketches, if only for having managed to effectively chronicle what was going on in my head at the time. God knows what I'd draw now if I ever picked up a pencil again...

It was a struggle getting it all off the ground. I was getting big-style lag on the Google Page Creator tip (switching from Firefox to IE worked on my crumbly old Me OS). But at least it's allowed me to clear all of that dead-link gubbins out of VSX's right sidebar...

So all hail The Powersurge Portal. Hail. Etc.

[ Wednesday, March 29, 2006 ]

Nature's unwanted alarm call
Starbuck [11:57] Comments: 4 []
Birds, dontchajust hate them?

When they're not acting as the genetic mixing-pool for an imminent global influenza pandemic (admitedly not helped by our own mismanagement of poultry husbandry), they're only sitting outside my bedroom window at 4 in the morning doing the bleeding dawn chorus.

That would be bad enough, but looking up at the upper frontage of the property whilst leaving for work this morning, the little avian bastards seem to have been conducting a "dirty protest" against my walls.

I'm gonna git me a puddy cat.

Cats, dontchajust hate them...

[ Saturday, March 25, 2006 ]

Monkhouse Magic
Starbuck [15:55] Comments: 2 []
In the Worlds before Two Tone,
Primal chaos reigned, Starbuuck sought order.
But the Viper can fly only when its feathers are grown.

Max was born from an egg on a mountain top,
Funkiest Monkhouse-fan that ever popped,
He knew every Monkhouse fact under the sun,
Tease the Beeb and everyone can have some fun.
Monkhouse magic, Monkhouse magic, Monkhouse magic,
Daar da dah daaaaah!

What I am trying (but probably failing) to express is my thanks to Max of the Two Tone Records blog, for answering my hopeful request for the background behind Bob Monkhouse's Eighties gameshow, Bob's Full House. Max's in-depth response can be found HERE.

Related link: Essential download - the Monkey theme-tune, c/o TV Cream.

Timeframe - 16 days backwards - Image Capture [SP on top]
Starbuck [15:04] Comments: 0 []

Location: Les Grands Vans, Le Grand Massif, France

Timeframe - 18 days backwards - Image Capture [Pretty as a picture]
Starbuck [14:55] Comments: 0 []

Location: Departing Morrillon, Le Grand Massif, France

Timeframe - 18 days backwards - Image Capture [Skis not shown]
Starbuck [14:49] Comments: 0 []

Location: Approaching Morrillon, Le Grand Massif, France

[ Friday, March 24, 2006 ]

Starbuck [18:15] Comments: 2 []
Better watch my step - Mrs Powersurge's getting broody!

Last night we heard the double-wonderful news that two close friends were (separately) going to have babies. Enthrallingly, I heard both pieces of news within 30 seconds of each other (one by phone and one by email).

And now Starbucketta's got a glint in her eye...

Anyway, I won't release the names of the genitors-to-be until they have spawned their little bundles of joy, but may I just anonymously relay my congratulations to Mystery Schoolfriend and to Mystery Co-Editor.

Starbuck [18:06] Comments: 2 []
My very first experience of blog extraordinaire Cyber-Satan, all those years ago, was a lookalike that he'd run (if I remember correctly it was an Iraqi Ayatollah and Gandalf the White).

Celebrate, then, as Astolath brings you freed Iraqi hostage Norman Kember and Grandad from Only Fools And Horses!

[ Thursday, March 23, 2006 ]

Welcome to the House of Monk
Starbuck [13:20] Comments: 7 []

Heads Up! I've been charged with the task of investigating the background behind the name of Eighties gameshow Bob's Full House, hosted by the late Bob Monkhouse.

If anyone reading this has read Bob Monkhouse's autobiography, and if there is a chapter on this classic quiz show-cum-computer game, then please could they let me know:
  1. Whether the title is a purposeful play-on-words of the host's name
  2. Which came first - the name or the game
Many thanks.
Dictionary Corner
In the Powersurge household, to "go Bob Monkhouse" is an expression meaning for a man to go naked.

Similarly a nude woman is "going Bob Holness".

[ Wednesday, March 22, 2006 ]

That Petrol Emotion
Starbuck [19:28] Comments: 4 []
Yudduts! I've just accidentally put the wrong fuel in my car.

Rather than bog-standard Tesco Unleaded, I pumped it full of some sort of high octane super premium unleaded thingummy.

The problem: my old-in-the-tooth motor performed absolutely amazingly when speeding down the motorway afterwards, as opposed to sounding like a Jumbo taking off. I hate it when I discover how good expensive things can be...

[ Tuesday, March 21, 2006 ]

Bird flu - let's slide
Starbuck [17:35] Comments: 2 []
Timeframe - 10 days backwards - an overheard snippet of conversation at the airport.

"There's only been 96 deaths from bird flu in the entire world. Why does everyone have to make such a brouhaha about it?"

The sheer ignorance of such a comment makes me despair. The lack of curiosity from the blissfully unaware to even begin to look into the nature of the threat.

Its not just a potential economical-disaster such as foot and mouth. Its got the potential to wipe out large swathes of the world's population.

People in the comfortable west get inured to the constant fears and scares bred within our media. It dulls their critical functions, makes them think they're ahead of the game, makes them cynical.

However if fear was a worthwhile emotion, they should indeed be terrified. Of all the threats in the world, evolution has one of the greatest chances of decimating humanity - in our overcrowded and overdeveloped world, its the rapidly-reproducing pathogens that will always have the upper hand. If not a virus like H5N1 then some deadly strain of bacterium, as we continue to piss antibiotics into the wind.

But as evolution will purge great chunks of the world's population, so it will save humanity - some of us will survive to inherit the earth.

And since fear is the enemy of the mind - the enemy of progress, of logic - we'll just have to sit this one out. Maybe it'll do some good in the long run.

"Only after disaster can we be resurrected... let's evolve, and let the chips fall where they may" - Tyler Durden

[ Monday, March 20, 2006 ]

Your mum
Starbuck [19:53] Comments: 0 []
I stupidly a pointlessly called my old chum Ron Lyre a "Mekon" earlier today, in response to his inspired blog profile image. Twenty years ago I would have called him a "Mekon-breath". Not the nicest thing to call someone when you come to think about it (modern kids would probably use the Who'vian insult "Balhoon-breath").

Which brings me to The Law of the Playground. A fantastic archive of childhood insults, as felched off the Background Noise blog.
Ah the joys of regressive idiotic nastiness. Its not nice. But nor are children.

Starbuck [19:05] Comments: 0 []
Watching Eminem live on MTV the other night, I noticed that Mr Mathers couldn't stop doing elephant impressions. You know, that thing where you put the top of you arm up against your nose to give the impression of a trunk. LOOK, here's a total stranger doing it. Well, Eminem is rather keen on doing them as well, bless.

[ Sunday, March 19, 2006 ]

Timeframe - 9 days backwards - Image Capture [Drifting]
Starbuck [17:44] Comments: 4 []

Location: Totem Restaurant, Flaine Forum, Le Grand Massif, France

Timeframe - 13 days backwards - Image Capture [Bedroom with a view]
Starbuck [17:37] Comments: 0 []

Location: Flaine Forum, Le Grand Massif, France
See also: Night-phase image

[ Thursday, March 16, 2006 ]

Timeframe - 6 days backwards - Image Capture [heavily-laden tree]
Starbuck [22:11] Comments: 0 []

Location: Flaine Forum, Le Grand Massif, France

[ Wednesday, March 15, 2006 ]

Timeframe - 4 days backwards - Image Capture [Bus with a view]
Starbuck [20:54] Comments: 2 []

Location: Le Grand Massif France; sur la D106, entre Flaine et Les Carroz.

Referral refuse
Starbuck [20:09] Comments: 0 []
Ahh, how I've missed checking my Site Meter. OK OK, I know it's cheap and cheerful blogging fodder, but here's a few of my favourite referral search engine terms ending up on VSX from over the last couple of days.
WARNING The editor is not responsible for any offense caused by any blasphemous or badly-spelt sexualy explocit search terms used to reach this site.
unstoppable pilonidal cyst
obsessive compulsive deodorant application
dead skin behind ears
wesley two scoops berry (always popular with the searchers)
dylan moran wife (gaining popularity amongst the ladies)
craig mclaughlin hey mona (another hot topic on the rise)
sucking pennis video movies to watch now (shurely shome mishtake?)
what bobsledding was like a long time ago
soulwax sandwishes (a capella) lyrics
vomiting into the gaping anus of christ (oops!)

STARBUCK ONLINE (with thanks to Stu)
Starbuck [19:58] Comments: 0 []
Gosh I really wanted to get drunk every night but quite honestly when we got back after a day we were sooooooooo tired and we had suuuuuuuuch an early start and really you use muscles you never knew you had...

[ Monday, March 06, 2006 ]

Stuart [22:07] Comments: 1 []
Hi there, I am Stuart, I am an assistant editor or some such of this esteemed organ. I write on here occasionally and as Starbuck is away skiing, he has asked me to play a larger part.

(please note use of "esteemed organ" and "play a larger part", both of which could be construed as extremely funny in the right context)

Anyway, skiing. What's it all about eh? I will count myself happily (or more accurately unhappily) as within that percentage of the population who could "do with losing a few pounds". However, when the mood takes me, I attempt varying degrees of running, cycling and other non-team based, solitary exercising activities. The exercise that would be at the bottom of my list would be skiing.

"WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?" you shout, clipping your plastic (or whatever they are; they could be made of marble for all I know) protuberances to your feet, whilst shrieking to your "chums" about which slope you'll "tackle" first as you quaff down your vino eying up that new bloke who's just flown in with his disheveled hairdo and useless but gorgeous demeanor OH how you just know he's only truly at home on a sheepskin rug with a log fire behind, probing probing seeking out your upper slopes on his carnal ski lift...

Anyway you get the idea (possibly). I have never been skiing, which gives me the perfect excuse and opportunity to judge. If I wanted to get plastered every night for a week and cop off with members of the opposite sex I (a) would not be married and (b) would go to pubs or bars or clubs in order to do so. If I wanted to do serious exercise I would (a) not drink so much and (b) go to the gym. If I wanted to do a half arsed attempt at both, surrounded by people who would drive me mad, wearing expensive and ridiculous clothing, whilst cultivating a ridiculous tan on the parts of my face not covered by my ridiculous sunglasses, I would... well you can guess the rest.

SO WHY would the man who I thought would probably share such irrationally confrontational and ill considered views BE THERE NOW doing WHAT THOSE PEOPLE DO and why will he inevitably come back saying GOSH I REALLY WANTED TO GET DRUNK EVERY NIGHT BUT QUITE HONESTLY WHEN WE GOT BACK AFTER A DAY WE WERE SOOOOOOOOO TIRED AND WE HAD SUUUUUUUCH AN EARLY START AND REALLY YOU USE MUSCLES YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD AND oh get over yourselves.

[ Thursday, March 02, 2006 ]

Starbuck outage
Starbuck [19:58] Comments: 3 []
Word up, Cameo fans!

I'm going to be out of blogspot-earshot for a week or two, off risking life and limb somewhere well away from computer access. Oh, and my home PC is a bit buggered right now, which may well delay my glorious return as well.

But in the meantime I shall be inviting my wonderful co-editors to step up their output somewhat whilst I'm away.

So I give you.... Stu and DJ Tim.



[ Wednesday, March 01, 2006 ]

Starbuck investigates... Creationism!
Starbuck [17:56] Comments: 4 []
With the concept of creationism in all its forms having ever-greater repercussions around the world, as the art of aDarwinism enjoys a renaissance within ever-expanding sections of the religious community, I felt it was time to instigate an in-depth exploration into the reasons for its resurgence.

I've looked long and hard at the many possible factors behind it's recent revival within Christianity (the religion that I have most knowledge of), and I believe that I have found the root cause for the retrogressive belief amongst Christians in the literal verity of the the Old Testament.

Def Leppard.

In 1987 the Leppard released the album "Hysteria", knowing all too well the "religious hysteria" that they would subliminally seed within their young fans' minds with the opening track "Women".

oh we ooh
Ooh wee ooh

In the beginning
God made the land
Then He made the water and creatures, then He made man

He was born with a passion, love and hate
A restless spirit with a need for a mate
But there was somethin' that was missin', somethin' lost
So he came with the answer, here's what it cost

One part love, one part wild
One part lady, one part child
I give you

Women! women! - Lots of pretty women
Men! men! - They can't live without them
Women! women! - Lots of pretty women
Men! men! - They can't live without them

And in the garden, lust began
The animal instinct, the wanton man
She fed him with a hunger, an appetite
And fillin' with emotion he took a bite

It was one part love, one part child
One part lover, one part wild
I give you

Women! women! - Lots of pretty women
Men! men! - They can't live without them
Women! women! - Lots of pretty women
Men! men! - They can't live without them

Skin on skin
Let the love begin

[guitar solo]

It was one part love, one part wild
One part lover, one part child
A whole lotta fire, a little bit of ice
A whole lotta somethin' you can't sacrifice
I give you

Hair, eyes, skin on skin
Legs - Legs
Thighs - Thighs

What's that spell?
Etc etc this bits fucking rubbish...
Oh! oh! oh!
Oh! oh! oh! Eh?

Women - Women
Callin' every girl
Women women
All around the world
Women - Women!
Oh, we can't live without them
Women women

[guitar solo] Again.
Further proof, if needed, was found within the cassette inlay - they thanked one of the crew (renowned producer Mutt Lange if I recall correctly) for the "rad guitar sound" they'd created for the record.
Rad leads to radical, a call from the band for their fans to radicalise in their beliefs.

Lastly, drummer Rick Allen only had one arm. That can surely only be a miracle.

Def Leppard went on to release their call-to-arms anthem "Armgaddon It" ("I'm a getting it"). Armageddon, the scene of the final battle between the forces of good and evil, prophesied in the New Testament to occur at the end of the world.

[ Complete Viper Squad Ten blog archives ]

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Mr Biffo's Blog
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