Viper Squad Ten
We're from the future. And we're stuck....
......VSX......                                                                                                              ......Been a little bit quiet lately......                                                                                                                                                                    

VSX, A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist: Starbuck Powersurge - a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of Viper Squad Ten, a long-disbanded group of stranded timetravelling troubadours, formed to help finance repairs to their time-machine. Now very much stuck in C21...

Sometimes guest editors: Mr Stu and DJ Tim.


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Dexter Season 4 finale review
Now that's magic!
Inception
I did this!
Frank Sidebottom RIP
Lost - The End - an atheist's viewpoint
Viper Squad Ten - the return
[breath drawn]
[rib cage expands outwards]
[intercostal muscles contract]



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All text is copyright the Viper Squad Ten blog team 2003-2006 unless otherwise quoted or credited. If we've not credited you properly, please let me know. Throw us a link if you're desperate enough to use this guff...


[ VSX Latest ]



[ Sunday, April 30, 2006 ]

David Hasselhoff "Hooked on a Feeling" video
Starbuck [16:59] Comments: 3 []
 
Wonderful.




[ Friday, April 28, 2006 ]

Nintendo smells of wii
Starbuck [16:58] Comments: 4 []
 
Hmmm, not sure about Nintendo's desicion to name their new console "Wii".

I'd become quite accustomed to its code-name "Revolution" - a good name for a console if which the controller will indeed be a revolution in gaming.

However I wouldn't look forward to asking a mate to come round to check out my fantastic new "wee". "Oh, go on, please come round, you can play with my wee if you want".

But then again when you think about it "SNES" was a fairly rrrubbish name, but at least that was an acronym, even if it did sound like the German for a "slow nose".

Gamecube was good. Much better than Xbox (its a box with a great big X on it!) And don't get me started on Dreamcast (dream-catchers, anyone?) or the "Mega" Drive...

Best computer name ever? The Spectrum (so called because it could display such a limited selection of the visual spectrum). Or the Welsh masterpiece, the fabled Dragon 32.


UKIP party election broadcast
Starbuck [12:45] Comments: 2 []
 

I was unfortunate to witness a UK Independence Party election broadcast last night ahead of the local elections. I doubt any of you sat through it.

The non-Kilroy-Silk who presented it urged voters to "cast a protest vote for any of the smaller parties" rather than the 3 main organisations. It didn't have to be UKIP.

I shuddered. Fascist scum like the British National Party tend to attract protest voters disillusioned with politicians, and however bad UKIP are the BNP are ten times worse.

And with recent surveys revealing that an uncomfortable proportion of the population would consider voting BNP, this is something that needs to be addressed.

Let's face it, with the "I'm not racist but" attitude of those wanting to "protect our country from the flood of immigrants" who are "swamping into our country" and "stealing all our jobs / benefits / traditions" this nation full of nationalists isn't a very pretty one.

Why are we so ready to be "informed" by the ultra-cynical and ultra-negative popular tabloids on race and immigration (and especially the poisonous "black top" Dailies, the Mail and Express, perhaps better descibed as the "black shirt" Dailies)? Do they just reflect the ugly side of our country's nationalism, or do they magnify it?


Dara O'Briain 2006 tour live review
Starbuck [12:36] Comments: 0 []
 
Much thinner, swearier, quick-witted and funnier than he appears on the telly.

Absolutely top-notch stand-up.



[ Thursday, April 27, 2006 ]

Muthaflickrn Pro
Starbuck [17:34] Comments: 4 []
 
Now I see how Yahoo makes it's money from Flickr.

I didn't think I would be upgrading to a Pro account - 20Mb upload per month seemed more than enough for me, especially when Uploadr has done its compressive magic on the files.

Swept away in the initial enthusiasm, I'd decided I might upload whole swathes of archived photographs (being a paid-up member of the quantity-over-quality brigade). Artistic merit could wait.

Little did I realise that I'd need a Pro account to enable more than three "Sets" of collections. Of course there's no technical reason behind this restriction - it's purely a money-making condition. But I'll forgive the good folks at Flickr, 'cos its still rather wonderful!

Incidentally, having plumped up the dosh (via PayPal), I promptly got a spookily-coincidental PayPal phishing scam email. Message to the spammer - please try harder... (from the "PayPal Management Stuff" indeed...)
Dear PayPal member,

Due to last days hack attacks to our database we decided
to review our customers account information to prevent
security problems . If you could take 3-5 minutes out
of your online experience to verify your account status ,
you will not run into any further problems .

Update your PayPal Account : Click Here

Thank You ,
PayPal Management Stuff

Please do not reply to this confirmation email , as this
message was sent to all PayPal members .



[ Wednesday, April 26, 2006 ]

Heavy metal poetry
Starbuck [18:40] Comments: 0 []
 
Stoneface dog, swirling fog, gates open on the dark dark night
Standing stone, skull and bone, dead witness to an unseen fight
Beat the drum, beat the drum, beat forever on the endless march
Stricken dumb, cut and run, someone is screaming and the sky is dark

Sword and shield, bone and steel, rictus grin
Deaf forever to the battles din


March or croak, flame and smoke, burn forever in eternal pain
Charge and fall, bugle call, bone splinter in the driving rain
Horses scream, Viking dream, drowning heroes in a lake of blood
Armoured fist, severed wrist, broken spears in a sea of mud

Sword and shield, bone and steel, rictus grin
Deaf forever to the battles din


Mother earth, mother earth enfolds you in her cold embrace
Sinking down, killing ground, worm crawling on your cold white face
Win or lose, nought to choose, all men are equal when their memory fades
No one knows, friends or foes, if Valhalla lies beyond the grave
© Lemmy



[ Monday, April 24, 2006 ]

Collage of light
Starbuck [20:06] Comments: 2 []
 
Oh, don't I just feel so proud of myself, having worked out how to quickly knock out one of these...

Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Winter sunset Shadows and substance New Years Day New Years Day New Year's sun setting New Year's sun setting Edge of Fangorn Offchurch Arable browns Joined in light
That last one's my favourite!


# Hush your mouth, this sound is when I spit it out #
Starbuck [19:49] Comments: 0 []
 
I could've gone to watch the Flaming Lips with the Go! Team in support tonight.

I could've gone to see The Proposition.

But no, I sat here and played Spit the Dog's Candles over at Carolgees' website. I dare you to tackle the tedium.

Dare. Double dare. Physical challenge. Etc. Whilst I'm wasting mine and your time, check out Double Dare star Peter Simon's ?inadvertently? hilarious Wikipedia entry. I know its cruel, but that face of despair says it all...





[ Sunday, April 23, 2006 ]

Muthaflickr
Starbuck [16:35] Comments: 2 []
 

The eagle-eyed amongst you (hello there Doppleganger & 3d & Astolath!) will have noticed that flickering box flashing away (unless your browser is set to block flash code) over in the sidebar.

In plain English for thicko's like me, this means that I've finally subscribed to the Flickr revolution, and you can view some of my lovely photographs at http://www.flickr.com/photos/starbuck_powersurge/.

Don't expect anything too recent, mind, as I'm almost out of hard disk space.


Something old, something new - some music reviews
Starbuck [12:15] Comments: 2 []
 
  • The Streets - The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living
    This album is a warning to all over the effects of cocaine. It gets off to a storming start with Pranging Out, but from then it's shallow, wasted, lazy. A massive disappointment. Though perhaps its all some KLF-style post-ironic statement on drug misuse.

  • Bloc Party - Silent Alarm.
    Middling and underwhelming, these were my immediate thoughts on this album. But then, I was listening to a loop of the album whilst suffering a hangover last weekend, slipping in and out of consciousness. Listening again with a clearer head this morning I thought: Yes, this is that fresh, urgent, dare I say it "sophisticated" guitar album that had created such a buzz last year. Good sound design, too.

  • The Go! Team - Thunder, Lightning, Strike
    Fantastic, and fun, fun fun! Here's some words nicked from the Amazon review: "A belligerent brew of guitars, drums, old-school hip-hop, rock, harmonicas, banjos, flutes, rhymes and cheerleader-chants that illustrates the band?s famous anything-goes attitude. On record The Go! Team are the Uncle Bulgaria?s of pop music, making good use of things everyday folk leave behind. Throwing together electro, 70?s cop show theme music, Bollywood soundtracks, cheerleading chants, old hip hop and noise guitar bands with a wide-eyed sense of possibility where everything crashes into everything else with a breathless, delighted, abandon. The Go! Team seem to be suffering from a collective brain-wrong that is gloriously, euphorically right."
    There, that wasn't so hard...



[ Saturday, April 22, 2006 ]

TV shows what I am currently enjoying
Starbuck [14:56] Comments: 1 []
 
  • The Apprentice
  • Dr Who
  • Ideal
  • Invasion
  • The Street


Site update - AdSense code removed
Starbuck [14:38] Comments: 0 []
 
My brief exploration of content-driven advertising left me feeling very grubby. Experiment failed.



[ Thursday, April 20, 2006 ]

Chockablock
Starbuck [22:26] Comments: 0 []
 

I've been rather enjoying a little java webgame called Chockablock.

The graphics are simplistic, there's not even a hint of animation, and a deathly silence hangs over the game-board. It's really not got much going for it.

Except that it uses the pieces from Tetris, and as such sinks its hooks straight into a deeply-established section of one's brain.

Those wanting a funky soundtrack to replace the puzzle-stretched grimace with a beaming grin should immediately download Peter Gosling's theme tune to 80s kids TV show Chocablock (mp3 available from TV Cream).

Oh, what cruelty is this - the sweet smell of nostalgia, laced with the bitter taste of sadness, as I relive those latent childhood emotions... recalling the loss I would feel as the surrogate parent of the day - Chocablock (Fred Harris) or Chocagirl (Carol Leader) - drove out of the studio in their yellow cart at the show's end, leave the rhino-sized computer (Chockablock) to slowly shut down.

Chockabloke clocking off. Chocking.



[ Tuesday, April 18, 2006 ]

Apple Crumble
Stuart [21:02] Comments: 3 []
 
Stu here, checking in. My evening postings always coincide with itunes updating, so this one is INCREDIBLY ironical. (I know "ironical" is incorrect)

I took my ipod away for the weekend, to see my mother in law, as she needs to see regular enlargement of my lovely wife's tummy (there - I have sneakily snuck in that we are pregnant without making a huge song and St Vitus dance about it).

ANYWAY so my ipod screwed up. I was getting the unhappy face icon and the folder/exclamation mark icon. The hard drive kept speeding up, dying, clicking, speeding up, dying, clicking etc. I worked out last night via the interweb that this meant "your hard drive is buggered".

SO I went to the Apple store on Regents Street. I felt old because I did not understand the queuing system and it made me angry. For the uninitiated they have a "Genius Bar". This means to the layman a counter where nice people either (a) stand around chatting or occasionally (b) help people with their techy problems. I had to queue for 20 minutes to see someone to make an appointment for the afternoon. Oh joy. (PS if anyone at Apple was bothered - which indeed they may not be - see later - they might consider what kind of advert an enormous queue of people, constantly, for so long as the shop is open, around the place where they try to get their Apple equipment fixed, is)

SO I traipse back at 4. See a nice bloke. I explain the problem. He tells me the hard drive is buggered (I know this) and that I am out of warranty (I know this). He gives me 3 "options":

1.Get it repaired by a non Apple person. A cursory look on the internet tells me this costs around £150.
2. Get Apple to replace my ipod (the now redundant 40g black and white fella) for £160.
3. Hand in my old one and pay either £219 for a 30g colour one or £300 for a 60g colour one.

OOH I think, well sir, I ask, how much are those at option 3 usually? he gives me a funny look and says £219 or £300...

I see. So, what about Apple repairing them? No sir that takes too long so we don't do that.

RIGHT then - I now have the measure of you and the longevity of your products. What a "choice" that is - get a probably 2nd hand replacement of an obsolete model or pay an extra hundred for the new one...

ANYWAY the upshot is that I did some searching on the web and this one bloke suggested, and I kid you not, that when the hard drive does the initial whirring as it starts, you WHACK it hard and that sorts it out. I tried that and hey presto all back to rights.

My allocated "Genius" missed a trick.

On another happy note I have recently been given a PSP and it's BRILLIANT.


Cute doggie video
Starbuck [15:18] Comments: 5 []
 
Let's face it everybody likes dogs. Except a lot of cats, and my wife for that matter.

However, even my wife takes exception (as opposed to an exception) to the following hound, belonging to Mama and Papa Powersurge. Aww, isn't he sweet? Look at his iddle nose! Listen to him squelch that apple!!

Dog eating apple

Dog refusing to chase owner

The Powersurge Pup is getting a bit long in the tooth, gord bless him, but he still acts like a big happy puppy - I've never met a soppier sod.

Expect more animated canine action on the "Videos" page of the Powersurge Portal in the future.



[ Friday, April 14, 2006 ]

Princess Valium, on a stallion
Starbuck [19:18] Comments: 0 []
 

Princess Valium (co-founder of the original Viper Squad X band) popped in for a cuppa this morning.

I only mention it in passing, as she mentioned that she sometimes looks at this page, and was a tad amused/distraught when I brought up a few photos from the days when she looked quite quite different. Being a transformed lady it's not the sort of thing that she would want wildly circulated, however without publishing this picture I wouldn't have any editorial justification to print the following message:

HELLO THERE PRINCESS V!

And just for you, here's your previous mentions:
Tuesday 20th May 2003
Monday 18th August 2003
Thursday 30th December 2004


The Armstrongs have got a blog!
Starbuck [18:45] Comments: 1 []
 
What !

Hypereality TV heroes John and Ann Armstong, stars of BBC's and the people behind (the local force in upvc conservatories windows and doors) and Usignia (signs and that), have now finished their glorious docusoap run. (It feels like Bill Nighy should be reciting this post)

Like many people I had spent the first few episodes of The Armstrongs convinced that I was watching an improvisational comedy or a subtly-scripted drama-documentary, possibly so subtle in its execution to actually be a hoax. Perhaps the key characters such as John, Ann, Basil Meanie, Michael Handel et al were actors and those around them were real people reacting as best they could.

I'd even thought about staking out their Coventry factory for photographic evidence of the existence of the Cast (not having heard of webby search tractors until a few days ago it hadn't crossed my mind doing some desktop research on this ...)

Of course the extraordinary truth slowly dawned - these people are real! Possibly exaggerated, with scenes set up or recreated in places, and true 21st Century media manipulators, but real all the same.

And I'll miss them!

Or so I thought, before discovering their ! Fantastic stuff - all of the twisting streams of thought and blunt rants that you'd expect from the Armstrongs... probably the best blog in the world, in fact. So this is what he was doing on the telly in all those shots where he's sitting on his computer at the back of the office!

Random quote from Gollum-lookalike John:
"Human kind cannot stand very much reality" TS Eliot

A very strange thing happened yesterday.

I was shopping in a store where they have one wall covered in televisions...there was about 50 of them all showing the same channel. All of a sudden 50 of ME appeared as a trailer came on for the programme.

It was a strange feeling...but I found the fishfingers and that's all that matters.



[ Thursday, April 13, 2006 ]

Another fab & free web application [Still in the pay of Google]
Starbuck [17:59] Comments: 0 []
 
About bleedin' time - . I've been after something like this, nicely integrated into Gmail, for flippin' ages.

I must say old boy that these ajax web apps are marvellous, and they run much smoother than "proper" executables on my clunky old machine.

Gerrin there: www.google.com/calendar



[ Wednesday, April 12, 2006 ]

Meatloaf joke
Starbuck [17:30] Comments: 0 []
 
This email received from my busy co-editor Stuart:
I haven't got time to put this on the blog but thought I'd send it as I thought you'd appreciate it and also because it is not unlike another puntastic music joke which you might be familiar with?

http://www.playlouder.com/news/+the-tuesday-joke-0/

It needs some work - the second part of the punchline, and its back story, could do with a bit of improvement!
What Stu is alluding to is my wonderful Chris Rea joke, previously mentioned on these pages only in passing - 30 minutes of fun about Chris Rea and Mark Knopfler culminating with the punchline... no, wait, I won't ruin it for you. Another time perhaps.

Anyway, back to the Meatloaf joke, courtesy of Playlouder - definitely the best and only Meatloaf joke I've heard, and I reckon it deserves a reprint:
Meatloaf was wandering down the street minding his own business when he bumped into Arthur Lee from 60s psychadelia-lovin musos Love. Arthur was in a terrible state. "Meatloaf, you've got to help me!" "Whatever is the matter Arthur?" said the 'Loaf.

"It's this karaoke competition. I was meant to sing a song with Brian Wilson but he's chickened out on me and I'm too nervous to do it on my own. Please help me out!"
Meatloaf was reluctant at first, as Arthur Lee was a bit of a mentalist. But as he was a mate he decided to help him out. "OK Arthur, I'll sing with you because you're my friend. What's the song?"

"Brilliant!" said Arthur. "The song is 'Stand By Me', an old favourite of mine. It'll be great. Thanks ever so much Meatloaf!"

So Meatloaf and Arthur got up on stage and sung their hearts out to the soul classic to rapturous cheers and applause. Meatloaf stayed to watch some of the other acts. As he was watching Justin Timberlake wail along to Radiohead's 'Creep', Meatloaf felt a tap on his shoulder.

It was Robbie Williams!

"Hi Mr Meatloaf, you were so good up there with Arthur Lee. Will you sing with me as well? I know you could bolster my chances of winning!" Meatloaf wasn't sure. Robbie tried to persuade him. "There's no rule that says you can't sing more than one song. Please Mr Loaf!"

"Well I dunno Robbie - maybe... What's the song?"

"It's Matt from Busted's new solo single that I can't remember the name of right now! I'm sure it's going to be a ginormous hit and all the kids will love it. We'll win for sure!"

"No way!" said Meatloaf suddenly.

"Why ever not?" inquired Robbie.

Meatloaf replied, "I would do Ben E King for Love, but I won't do Matt."



[ Tuesday, April 11, 2006 ]

Doing the Superman (Agadon't)
Starbuck [16:30] Comments: 6 []
 
Is it just me, or does anyone else put their hand out above their heads like an in-flight Superman whilst they are climbing a flight of stairs?

Mind you, its a bit embarrassing in the workplace...



[ Monday, April 10, 2006 ]

Site update - AdSense
Starbuck [21:10] Comments: 2 []
 
My regular reader may have noticed the little ads appearing in the post-item sidebar.

He/she (not sure which) would be forgiven for thinking "Crikey, old Starbuck's only gone and turned all capitalistic on our arses here".

Rest assured that this is purely an experimental adventure, as I attempt to satiate my fascination with keyword-targeted ad analysis.



[ Sunday, April 09, 2006 ]

Timeframe - 5 months backwards - Image Capture [Gollum graffiti]
Starbuck [17:51] Comments: 8 []
 
What's that looming through the fog?


Who is it? Someone green, stopped in front of a duck?


Hold on, the mists are clearing.


And what has it got in it's pockets?


Ah, its only Smeagol.


Previous Gollum sighting: The Lake District (VSX Summer 2004 exclusive!).



[ Friday, April 07, 2006 ]

TARDIS trousers
Starbuck [13:37] Comments: 2 []
 
Oh the shame.

I've realised that I've spent most of the morning at work walking around with my TARDIS hanging out of my trousers.

You know, it looks smaller from the outside than it actually is on the inside. Etc etc etc, boom boom.

My TARDIS key ring, that is. Sigh.



[ Thursday, April 06, 2006 ]

Avian avengence - Duck Hunt
Starbuck [20:42] Comments: 0 []
 

As I wanted to bring you a fun bird-annihilation webgame to take your mind off things, and to help instill a false sense that you can fight back against the feathery virus-vectors.

I had wanted to bring you an emulation (or an "emu" if you will) of Phoenix, Taito's classic 1980 arcade game.


I failed.

So you'll have to make do with Duck Hunt, which is shite without a light gun, but then it always was.

It also has an EXTREMELY annoying dog in it. The makers obviously agree, judging by option D ("Dog Hunt...")



[ Tuesday, April 04, 2006 ]

OCD and CBT
Starbuck [15:59] Comments: 4 []
 
Great news that . Not great news for himself; it can be a horribly debilitating thing which can stain one's every waking existence. However great news for sufferers. Hopefully it should help more of the public to understand what clinical OCD is. And hopefully it should influence the simplistic press in this country who continue to describe it as some sort of "cleaning disease". That's like saying that all artists are "like Rolf Harris", or all musicians are "like the Beatles". Or all people are like me.

I remember one brave women interviewed on BBC Breakfast by a very-simplistic Natasha Kaplinsky, who described how the shame of one fleeting momentary thought about her strangling her much-loved children had grown into a terrible persistent preoccupation. She'd just have to see her dressing gown, and the unwanted irrational thought of it wrapped around her throat forced itself into her distraught mind.

She found help. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy works. It might take certain antidepressants to help the brain rewire itself - after all, when you're fighting against irrational thoughts its only natural a lot of anxiety and depression can build up. However its the CBT that allows you to help yourself.

In the same way as you can learn to swim or learn to ride a bike, you can learn to think rationally. It just takes time to unlearn your obsessive compulsions, in the same way as it takes time to unlearn your inability to swim or to unlearn your inability to ride a bike.

And maybe a lot of you are suffering, albeit more mildly than some. I recommend anyone who's ever "touched wood", counted magpies, worn their lucky underwear before a football game, or in any way tried to control their lives (religion, astrology etc) or sought to recognise patterns within life (Noel Edmonds and the Cosmic Ordering Service take a bow), pretty much anyone that is, should read David Newnham's Guardian article from last year .



[ Monday, April 03, 2006 ]

New Flaming Lips album
Starbuck [20:54] Comments: 9 []
 
Yes. Yes! YES!


Timeframe - 2 days backwards - Image Capture [Beach & Channel]
Starbuck [20:42] Comments: 0 []
 


Location: Hardelot, Cote d'Opale, France


"A funny sense of humour"
Starbuck [15:03] Comments: 4 []
 
Saturday morning I was sitting in the backseat of my parents car as it boarded the Eurotunnel train. The car drew to a halt with the front passenger-side window alongside a toilet door.

A single passenger managed to use the toilet early in the journey, muttering as he left something about them not working very well. For most of the remainder of the journey a steady stream of bladderly-stressed passengers wandered up to the door but failed to gain access as it seemed to be locked or jammed, and my mum, sitting in the passenger seat next to the door, explained to every one that it didn't appear to be working. Then we noticed a indistinct "no entry" sign dimly flashing above the door, and figured it must lock automatically when the toilets become out-of-order for whatever reason.

Quick as a flash I wrote "TOILETS OUT OF ORDER" on a scrap of paper, and stuck it to the toilet door using a "3 for 2" Waterstones sticker that I'd peeled off a packet of Top Trumps, successfully putting off the next two potential toilet-users.

Towards the end of the journey we noticed that the sign had stopped flashing, and when we tried the door it opened without problem. I removed the sign that I'd helpfully put on the door.

Someone soon wandered up to use the toilets, and my mum, seemingly feeling obliged to continue to talk to everyone who approached the door, informed them: "My son's got a funny sort of sense of humour, and he put that 'out of order' sign on the door himself!"

Thus making them think I was some hopeless April Fool's practical joker, as opposed to a well-meaning and conscientious member of the Chunnel community...

FUNNY SORT OF SENSE OF HUMOUR?! Because it was stuck on with a sticker from a bookshop? Grrrr...

Still, it made me think, WHY NOT go around sticking "out of order" signs on toilet doors. Heh heh. Ho.

Hum.



[ Complete Viper Squad Ten blog archives ]

April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / June 2008 / September 2008 / May 2010 / June 2010 / July 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 /


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