VSX, A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist: Starbuck Powersurge - a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of Viper Squad Ten, a long-disbanded group of stranded timetravelling troubadours, formed to help finance repairs to their time-machine. Now very much stuck in C21...
All text is copyright the Viper Squad Ten blog team 2003-2006 unless otherwise quoted or credited. If we've not credited you properly, please let me know. Throw us a link if you're desperate enough to use this guff...
Yo! Durm Chamine here, fourth member of the original Viper Squad X, and the only one of us with the god-given right to say "biddi-biddi-biddi". With the VSX_SP module stuck in run-time execution hell, I've spotted ma chance to crack in on Starbuck's profile.
I was going to pass myself off as Mr Powersurge - "Hello, my name's Starbuck, and I'm an annashamed kidult who wishes he was Dr Who. Will you be my friend?"
But nah, that'd make me just as big a sucker as that Bluefaced Bugger. And you don't want that, boyeee.
What ole' Starbie has been kinda neglecting on this site is drums. I mean, he's never even asked of his readership what their fave'rit drum patterns are. C'mon, just what sortofa halfarsed blog is this? I guess he thinks that since his readership is strictly "limited" ('Buck calls them "executive"), he'd not be expectin much of a response from you lot, and there's nothing Powersurge hates more than lookin like a damn fool.
But hell, who cares what that loser thinks. Let me start the ball rollin'. (Breath in now breath out, Hands up now hands down, Back up back up, Tell me what you're gonna do now, Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'. Like.)
Durm Charmine's fave drum loop of all time is:
Funky Drummer (lifted off some old James Brown trakk)
'Spesh if its got a "whooo wheyyyy" sampled all over it. It's THE BEST!
Nice work, Clyde Stubblefield. Not only have you got the best rhythm break in recorded history (and remember, I come from way beyond each of your life spans), but you've got the best name as well!
Starbuck's funeral song
I'm very aware of my mortality. Accidents happen. And as such I'd like to record in writing the song that I'd want played at my funeral.
Although I've informed a few people of this in the past, they're bound to have thought I was messing around or simply just plain forgotten. Having said that, the only family member who I know occasionally reads VSX is my cousin (her from the Karl Kennedy photo 6 posts back), so its up to you, Cous.
The song is called "My Body May Die" and its a collaboration by Pulp featuring The Swingle Singers, and its available on the Randall & Hopkirk (deceased) Soundtrack. It's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard - the musical arrangement is magical, the vocal harmonies glorious, the lyrics poignant.
Incidentally, those of you who saw Charlie Higson's 2000-2001 remake of R&H(d) starring Vic Reeves & Bob Mortimer may still find themselves haunted by this, the music from Marty's own funeral.
Pulp Vs The Swingle Singers - My Body May Die
[Jarvis Cocker] I don't really think that you know Just what you're getting in to, Maybe you think this is just Another fight to the death
[The Swingle Singers] Come out with your hands raised 'Cos I've surrounded this place Although there's no escape I've got you covered Yeah
[All] My body may die but my heart will keep loving you baby My body may die but my heart will keep loving you baby My body may die.....
[JC - hesitantly] ...You think... I would leave you I... could... never leave you Wherever... you go... I will be... by your side
[SS - interlaced with repeat of previous JC verse] Nights are cold.... Without you to hold... I can't see you... I can't see you in the dark...
[Blended with layers from previous two verses] [JC] You can't hide [SS] Nights are cold.... [JC] You can't hide [SS] Without you to hold... [JC] You can't hide [SS] I can't see you... [JC] I can't see you in the dark... [repeat] JC You can't hide...
[Female harmonic vocal arrangements kick in]
[All] My body may die but my heart will keep loving you baby Our love with survive the passing of time believe me My body may die but my heart will keep loving you baby Oh our love with survive the passing of time believe me, believe... My body may die but my heart will keep loving you baby My body may die but my heart will keep loving you baby My body may die...
Your Religion Post(s)
Sub-editor in confronting editor shock!
I would like to posit the following:
1.When you bemoan religion, i think you mean only Christianity. I don't think you view other religions with the same distain, although I am not sure why. Maybe you (as I) know more about it than other faiths so it's easier to take pot shots at.
2. It is easy (and mostly valid) to decry religion for causing wars, hatred and prejudice. It's probably also okay to suggest, if that is your opinion, that people believe in God or a god because they are weak or fear death or whatever. HOWEVER where do you stand just slagging off people because of their choice of beliefs? The same place as you stand slagging people off because they're fat I guess, after all they can choose not to be, right? Or come to think of it the same place as you would stand slagging off people who DON'T believe in God.
3. As you say, everyone is irrational. It's in our nature. That's why we believe in love and souls and get married. Again, I'm not going to slag someone off for being irrational. Let he is without blame cast the first stone and wotnot (oops sorry that comes from the Bible)
4. I don't like hypocrites or murderers or warmongers. I like honest, upstanding, loving and kind people. Atheists and religious folks fall within both catergories. Sure if there was no religion there would be less war, in the same way as if the Beatles hadn't written Helter Skelter Charles Manson wouldn't have killed the people he did (possibly allegedly). What came first, religion or man's desire to hurt his fellow man? If there was no religion, wouldn't we have found another reason to behave like we do?
5. Don't lump together (as the report does) creationalism and intelligent design. One is clearly ridiculous (the former) the other is at best merely a manifestation of a belief that while things happened in a certain (evolutionary) way, there was something behind it. Perhaps on a purely scientific basis this is a contradiction. But a lot of people believe in God but don't believe the world was made in seven days. This no doubt comes down to degrees of irrationality, but see point 3 above.
6. Those stats are stats and we all know what they say about stats.
7. Nailing my colours to the mast, I am not particularly religious. I don't go to church but think in the back of my mind there is probably something "out there". (As you know) I just had a daughter. It was a (relatively) difficult and potentially risky delivery. At various points I prayed to a god I don't often pray to because there wasn't anyone else. When my daughter was born safe and sound and my wife was okay, I thanked that same god for the same reason. If you've got a problem with that, buster, come see me about it.
We went to an Indian wedding the other weekend. An Indian wedding in Birmingham, that is. A very fine day, weather excepted, and I'm still got face-ache from grinning way too much. And when you get to my age its always great when a wedding experience is truly different from those previous nuptial celebrations.
Weddings and curries, two of my favourite things - a match made in heaven.
Anyway, I just thought that I'd mention it as I thought that the nosey or the soppy amongst you might want to view the photos now uploaded into my Flickr Photostream, starting innocently HERE, before ending rather more messily around about HERE.
 In a long and boring meeting yesterday I finally worked out how Neo could affect and sense machine entities in the "real world" in Matrix Revolutions.
It makes sense that the machines are connected wirelessly, and it makes sense that they'd embed some sort of transmitter/receiver in the enslaved humans being used as "batteries" (as the spin would have us believe) or whatever, rather than just those big squirm-inducing sockets (quite literally the "fat pipe").
It could be something very low bandwidth included within the metalwork, but rather useful for when they need to locate individual units when disconnected. RFID rather than bluetooth, lets say. But still enough for Neo to master, and to use to his advantage. Lets face it, with enough effort and training you can engineer your central nervous system to enable it to perform all manner of previously-impossible things.
Belief in gods is one thing. Hell, we're hardwired by evolution to believe in all sorts of things that aren't actually there - it gave meaning to the nonenlightened human "spirit" back when supposition was all there was.
And considering its treated with reverence not ridicule, its no surprise people fall under its spell, whether through direct brainwashing or just the simple osmosis of ideas.
 Last night I dreamt that I was sitting with Dr Karl Kennedy out of popular Australian soap Neighbours, taunting - nay, goading - him for just being a fictional character whilst I, your author, am a real human being. His TV ex-wife Susan Kennedy just looked on, smiling sympathetically.
And the night before I dreamt I was watching an episode of Dr Who where that Preacher bloke (blonde Geordie Childrens BBC presenter who somehow flooked a few episodes of Dr Who earlier this year despite a few apparent acting difficulties) phased in from another dimension.
In-depth New Age dream analysis: I feel gloriously superior to Neighbours characters, and I'm missing Dr Who despite it's various flaws.
When I heard this yesterday I thought archly to myself something along the line of"Blimey. Worse than the Cold War? Things must be bad. Planes being driven into our every nuclear powerstation, I would imagine (pity that the decision has already been made that nuclear is the 'fuel of a future')". And then today we hear of this morning's disrupted terrorist plot to blow up planes mid-flight from the UK to the US - perhaps it was just a start, a call to arms, a practice run for the nukes? That said, you could still do a terrible amount of damage to a city like London with a plane heavily-laden with fuel.
According to Reid yesterday, "sometimes we may have to modify some of our own freedoms in the short term in order to prevent their misuse and abuse by those who oppose our fundamental values and would destroy all of our freedoms in the modern world."
That of course won't work - its just doing the terrorist's job for them - causing terror. Its not about "opposition to our fundamental values" and "destroying all of our freedoms in the modern world". It's people radicalised by opposition to our foreign policy, which is brutal either by its action or by its complicity. It's kind of like we oppose their fundamental values and want to destroy all of their freedoms, opposition through bombing and through occupation.
Let's face it, sometimes it looks like freedom = capitalism, and democracy = globalisation.
But I could be wrong. Reid says about people like me that "they just don't get it." And perhaps its true that Bush and Blair and those steering them have taken it too far - we've reached the fabled "tipping point". Well, at least they've got the Rapture to look forward to.
But as for the rest, it looks like we're all doomed. And with the UK facing increased terrorist threat, the only thing to do - arrest the people responsible.
Blair and his co-conspirators please step forward.
(Starbuck steps unsteadily off his political soapbox)
Up until recently I've always been wary of those "cloth roller towel" hand dryers. You know, the manually-operated ones where you pull a dry bit of the looped toweling down and then damp bit (in theory) gets drawn back up into the machine.
I always thought that the dirty bit of towel would eventually come back round to the bit where you pull the cloth down to dry your hands. Which of course it doesn't. That would be ridiculous.
I've got an nk402 phone with only enough SMS slots to store 10 text messages, and as such I'm always running out of space. Why then do I tend to save messages in my Outbox for years on end, thus using up valuable memory and hence quickly preventing me from receiving new messages?
In there at the moment I still have: "GET ANT&CLEO TIX" from five months back And for a full year... "Not seeing irony of watching Lost In Translation in Bangkok unable 2 sleep. Lieing by skyscraper pool watching birds swoop around towertops. Also Cabin Fever."
What an utter clot!
Having mentally drafted this list of stupidity over my lunchtime, I can'tt now remember what my third reason for being an idiot. BERK!
VSX Member Fatherhood Congratulations
May I be the first to congratulate (on these pages at least) my esteemed VSX co-editor Stu and his good lady wife Mrs Stu on the birth this morning of their first-born (pictured left).
In a bizarre form of celebration I was going to put together an anthology of all of Stu's good works within the fatcityarizona domain... however... I've ran out of lunchtime... (to be continued)